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Hello, my name is paper and I am a piece of paper.
My purpose is to have people write on me and to be printed by printers.
I like the smell of wood because it smells like my parents.
My ambition is to be thrown away and recycled.

(lmao i don't know what to put in here, so thanks Claire for the message.)

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I'M BAK! (:

hahas.. lyk finally la.. and yesyes.. finally i'm updatin my already veri cobwebbed blog.. yepp..

well.. i was out in m'sia melaka for a whole lot of 5days for my church camp.. yupp.. and for this time.. this church camp is reeal a veri veri memorable 1 for me.. so yesyes.. sori if is gonna getr eali veri borin bt i'm so gonna tok bout my whole experience throughout this church camp.. yupp..

well.. initially i wasn't reali lookin forward for th church camp cuz simply bcuz al my sisters except th youngest 1 which makes no diff al nt goin for th church camp.. so initially i felt a lil scared lyk wat if i'm gonna feel so left out at church camp etc cuz well.. altho i do haf sum close church frens bt sumtimes i juz feel a lil left out wid em esp when they're al so bonded wid al those west zone prayer meetins so i had lyk mixed feelings when i went to th church camp.. cuz on th other hand i wanted to go for this camp is to hear dr hubert spence cuz seriously he's a veri gd preacehr and yesyes.. he owax speaks in such a way dat it wil sumhow touch ur heart.. so in th end i decided to go..

woke up early and left for th camp when we reach ther ther were lyk so many probs la.. cuz no1. our dining hall became our main conference hall and our main conference hall which was a grandballroom was given to those 1000strong choir la.. and i was reali pissed at this fact cuz well we booked th whole thng first and in th end they gave it to th later 1000 strong choir hu booked it ltr and moreover they were kinda smart in a way cuz they onli said bout th hall lyk last min, th day b4 th camp.. oh well.. and en when i went for lunch.. omg.. th food suxs plz.. and th worst thng they dun replenish la.. is supposedly a buffet bt they dun replenish and by th time i reach ther i onli manage to get pathetic rice wid a few onions and sauce.. pathetic.. and ther was lyk cats ther plz.. omg.. simply freak me out can.. yesyes.. i'm afraid of cats.. and en when we went to th apt rm, they took off th aircon dat was in th livin rm so th whole place was freakin hot.. and th taps and shower weren't workin and ther were no bath towels and toilet papers.. wth.. i was freaking pissed la.. is lyk reached my boiling point already so i kept grumblin bout th camp.. and kept tinkin y did i even cum? i seriously regret it.. oh well.. and en we had thematic msg bt was too tired so i dozed off here and ther.. when finally went bak my apt wanted to find sum1 to tok to cuz i was lyk havin late night supper bt en sad to say no1 was available every1 was veri tired and slept.. so i watched th pathetic tv hu had lyk so lil channels which are borrin and ate my maggie mee b4 i fell aslp..

nxt day of camp went for congregational prayer in th morn and had brekkie aft dat.. brekkie was horrible oso.. so aft brekkie we had lyk sermons aft sermons and seriously, it was reali mentally tirin and challengin.. so quite a few of us kept fellin aslp when listenin.. dat time.. i felt lyk wth.. i can't even absorb th sermons properly la.. well.. had tokin sessions in th nite when everyth was screwed up when jonathan and uncle munwah came alng and conflicts settled in oso.. btwn j and j.. bt ya la.. th excuses dat j told us bout wat u say were kinda crappy and sounds lyk a bunch of shit to me oso.. oh well..
cums 3rd day and everyth became beta cld adapt to th sermons and everyth and keep tryin my best to keep myself awake oso.. played soccer oso! (: and it was kinda fun la.. bt b4 dat i slept a whole lot of 2hrs b4 playin.. and en 4th day was reali veri memorable and of cuz to me, it was life changin.. actuali wat i wanna tok bout was th testimony time.. well.. i guess no1 reali expected this to happen oso..cuz every1 was juz sharin their testimony in th grp b4 we had a few to pick up to share in front of every1.. well.. en a few shared and came to my dear cousin elisha..well.. his testimony was wow! super touchin.. i almost cried.. cuz well.. he shared his veri own personal testimony which kinda shocked every1 includin me.. and en he cried oso.. bt i'm veri proud of my dear cousin! (:
and i guess mayb bcuz of him, al of us or mayb most of us felt th conviction of th holy spirit? aft dat every1 juz continued sharin al their veri personal bad testimonies.. sum of em oso cried.. wat shocked me most was james, an apparently a veri strong boy hu seems as if he wun shed tears cried veri badly.. so well.. it became mor of a confession session.. so well.. at dat time i wasn't cryin yet.. i onli felt my heart feelin veri burdened and en soon it was my turn to share i went up nt knowin wat to reali share and hu noes when i uttered th first word.. i started cryin.. i was kinda shocked myself oso.. didn't expect myself to cry.. well.. shared a rather personal and nt so personal testimony oso.. cuz is mor of wat i'm tinkin and nt wat i experience so aft dat many ppl were cryin and i suddenly felt lyk i was veri mean.. veri veri mean to God..when he was so nice to me.. i felt so guilty dat i did so many bad thngs to him and i kept cryin and cryin.. aft dat of cuz i cried and prayed to God for forgiveness.. and well.. for th first time in 16yrs of my life i actuali cried durin prayer.. cuz well.. i neva knew hw to reali cry cuz everytime when rachel and mary pray, they'll cry and veri badly so i juz tot they were bein emotional onli until nw, i guess i kinda felt dat kind of feelin dat they had to make em cry.. dat conviciton and guilty feelin dat u're so sori to God.. yupp.. when i tink through.. i guess i reali made my heart veri veri hardened these past few years until i juz turn away fr God until goin to church and readin th Bible became mor of a routine instead of a "i wan to go and worship God" thing.. tink i've reali led a veri fake and lyin christian life oso.. yepp.. haix.. and aft dat time.. i suddenly feel myself wantin to turn to God and get closer to him.. yupp..

through this camp.. i guess many of us reali realise how badly we haf turn away fr th sight of God and how much we haf bakslided.. and well..gotta thank rachel for her hp soft toy (: and her veri touchin msg dat made me almost wanna cry.. oh well.. anw.. went for dr hubert spence's sermon and Q & A at th family service centre at lyk 9am-12pm.. woke up quite early today bt well.. today was oso veri enrichin for me.. cuz well.. i guess i finally noe how to ans kel and oso to discern for myself y th charismatics are wrong (i'm nt tryin to b offensive here) and dat i oso learnt dat bein a christian is nt juz bout acceptin Christ onli is bout livin a life for God.. oh my.. and dr hubert spence was lyk sayin if u dun wanna live a life for God en plz.. dun b a christian.. i was lyk wow! kinda dumbfounded.. and oso.. through this whole camp i realise how lil i actuali noe bout God's word.. ther's lyk so many Bible verses dat i neva evn c b4 la.. and so much for bein a christian for lyk 4yrs.. lyk wow.. i feel so ashamed la.. oh well..i decided dat i wanna lead a life for God and guess i reali hafta start everyth fr scratch agn.. i gt so many things to learn and do and seriously, i dunno if i'll reali do al these lyk nt listenin to pop music and en nt goin to th movies.. oh my.. i juz wished dat God wil gif me th grace and strength to go through al these.. a new life.. a new beginnin..

well.. i sound veri christiany huh.. dun sound lyk th veri usual phebe rite.. oh well.. i'm stil tryin la.. stil tryin to get closer to God and of cuz i guess i seriously haf to get al th vulgarities out of my mouth oso.. and dat's of cuz gonna take sum time.. oh well.. gogo jiayou! (:

anw... went to find my workin place today.. kinda confusin bt.. manage to find it aftal! (: hahas.. and en i'm lyk workin al th way at raffles place.. and kitty, i noe u're workin ther too la.. mayb we can go work together or sth? hahas.. great.. i wun feel so lonely.. and anw.. i guess i dun hafta feel lonely cuz i realise my chruch fren is workin ther too! (: hahas.. yay! i've gt company.. bt well.. i'm stil kinda nervous for th first day of work and seriously, my wardrobe dun seem to haf any clothes for office wear lei.. hahas.. die! oh well.. and i'm lyk gonna take leave juz on th 4th day of work.. great.. cuz i nid to get my pae results.. i'm kinda nervous la.. lyk which jc i'll b posted to and stuff.. well.. leave everyth in God's hand ba.. no use broodin over it oso..

guess ii'm gonna end here.. seriously a veri looong post.. i tink is enuff to make up for th uh.. 7days of nt bloggin.. hahas.. and oh.. i reali miss al th 29o4 ppl.. twinaiai min eve i miss u ppl alot! suddenly i guess th sayin absence reali makes th heart fonder is so true la.. juz bcuz of work and everyth i wun get to c em already.. ): haix.. well.. takaire ppl!

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